What to do on “off” days..
We have all been there—the days that just start off on the wrong foot. We didn’t rest well, we tossed and turned, we had an argument with our significant other (or with our mom).
We went to bed worried about the kids, their academics, their social life, their growing up, their leaving the nest soon, or some day.. we may be worried about our health, our parents’ health, the stability at work, the chaos at home, the passage of time on our own lives..
You name it. There are a myriad of reasons why we may be worried, nervous, anxious, sad, or drained.
And deep down in our subconscious there may be an image of an appealing dish, or food, that for a moment would make our worries fade away. The feeling of pleasure as we taste a favorite dish seems to melt away, even if only briefly, all worries. It provides a respite, an oasis, a stop to our rumination about what today seems upsetting, unfair, or such a struggle.
It is human to rely on food as a way of coping
Resorting to food to cope in stressful times is human. Food is so often associated with comfort, after all, food is life sustaining, and we may be fraught with images and memories in which food was accompanied by the feeling that we were not alone, that others were there, around us, that they cared.
We may have felt taken care of by actions that involve food—a warm meal after a long day that someone prepared for us. Or bought for us. Or put to the side to “save it” for us. Memories of celebrations, birthday parties, holidays. So many instances in which food has been associated with either pleasure, comfort, or relief.
And if these memories were not enough to trigger our cravings, we have the whole physiology at work, by which when we eat we release dopamine, which has been called the “feeling good hormone.”
Would you like a mini-structured path for your work in this area?
Download my free workbook! In this workbook, you’ll have the opportunity to:
Become more aware of your triggers and their sources
Feel more clarity about your inner world in what respects to food
Be less on automatic pilot
Be more intentional in all what relates to decisions about food
What can we do then on these “off” days?
..or these “off” moments we may encounter from time to time?
If you know me, you probably guessed right, or are for sure in the ballpark.
My first suggestion is self-love, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Kindness. Gentleness towards ourselves. Embracing yourself and wherever you are in your path. This is kind of the opposite of the guilt, regret, anger, self-blame, putting down, sometimes even the self-loathing that so many of us experience after an episode of emotional eating.
Acceptance often gets a bad reputation.
People think that if they fully accept where they are right now that this may keep them locked in where they are (and from where they want so strongly to move away from).
Some people feel that if accept their behavior, that means that they are being complacent. That they do not want that much to relate differently to food.
I do not see it that way.
In fact, I see it quite differently. I believe that acceptance that I am where I am in my journey with food is the first step to deliberately & consciously embarking on a journey to address it. As long as we do not fully accept where we are, we are not free (or we are less free) to devote our energy and focus in devising a new path for ourselves.
I think acceptance if freeing. It is liberating.
Of course we do not want to stop there. We want the acceptance to be the stepping stone to seeing new possibilities for ourselves— such as feeling good about ourselves. Feeling whole. Feeling a sense of ease. Feeling we are putting ourselves in the path that makes sense for us in regards to food.
The invitation
In the “off” days, when we feel we are not acting in ways aligned with our innermost desires and goals in regard to our relationship with food—this is the invitation:
Deep breath. Self-love. Self-acceptance. Kindness and self-compassion. Trusting your wisdom that you would find a way, your way, to act aligned with your true desires and values. Relying on the knowing that you’ve got what it takes to intentionally create a relationship with food that feels lighter and brings more ease and peace to your life. And later on, working on creating the structure that you need to be able to consistently act upon your desire to free yourself from relying on food to manage the ups and downs of life.
I’ll end with a two quotes that serve as a powerful reminder of how capable each of us is—
The first quote is by none less than J.K. Rowling, the creator of Harry Potter:
“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”
Finally, this last quote honors how the struggles we endure on our way to achieving our goals can shape us in powerful, life-changing ways:
To honoring your wisdom in every step of the way!
Claudia