Holding the tension
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how much tension we hold as human beings, especially as women. This tension shows up in many areas of life. Sometimes, it’s very obvious—like the tension that comes from juggling multiple roles. As women, we often feel the weight of these roles: mother, daughter, spouse, professional, caretaker, and more.
Take being a mom, for example. You might feel torn between wanting to give your children 100% of your attention and also wanting to pursue your own dreams and goals. There’s this constant pull between personal and professional life—between being fully present for your kids and tending to the demands of work, school, or business. Maybe you’re balancing motherhood while caring for aging parents, and that too adds another layer of tension.
There is existential tension at play as well
And if we go even deeper, there’s the existential tension of life itself. We ask ourselves, How do I live a meaningful life? We strive to find purpose, knowing that one day this life will come to an end. This awareness can fuel us with a sense of urgency to make every moment count, but it can also create pressure to constantly “do more.”
But as someone once joked, “Someone has to pay the bills!”
So here we are, trying to find a balance between living meaningfully and handling the day-to-day obligations we can’t escape.
I read a quote that felt very meaningful a few months ago that said:
Would you like a mini-structured path for your work in this area?
Download my free workbook! In this workbook, you’ll have the opportunity to:
Become more aware of your triggers and their sources
Feel more clarity about your inner world in what respects to food
Be less on automatic pilot
Be more intentional in all what relates to decisions about food
The paradox of being alive in this day and age
This constant push and pull creates tension—emotional tension that we carry with us all the time. And it’s exhausting. So, we turn to food. Food becomes our escape. It’s a way to soften the edges of life’s stresses, to numb the discomfort, or to distract ourselves from the demands we face.
You might come home after a long day, feeling like you deserve a reward. That plate of comfort food or those tempting snacks become irresistible. They serve as a brief reprieve from the tension you’ve been carrying. For some, it even feels like an emotional escape—like a way to make life’s stress feel smaller, more manageable, if only for a moment.
Who can blame us, though?
This is completely human. Physiologically, food can be soothing. It offers a sense of calm and comfort that feels restorative in the moment. But the challenge comes when it’s hard to stop—when emotional eating becomes a regular way to cope with the tension of life.
So, take a deep breath with me. Self-compassion is where we begin. Of course, you want to reach for something that offers relief from life’s struggles. There’s no shame in that. My mission is to help you approach emotional eating with compassion, while also bringing awareness to what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Yes, life can be hard. Yet relying on food to cope with those struggles often adds another layer of difficulty.
So what’s the alternative?
The first step is developing awareness. When you’re eating for emotional reasons, the invitation is to notice what are you really seeking in that moment. Is it rest? Is it a stronger sense of connection? Is it encouragement? Maybe it’s a break from the constant demands. Or the need for a hug. Or, why not, some time off from the responsibilities, that sometimes may feel like a burden.
Even if you continue to eat, noticing what’s driving the behavior is a huge first step. With this heightened awareness, food starts to lose its grip. You begin to see it for what it is—a temporary stand-in for something deeper. And as your awareness grows, you may start to feel –over time--a greater sense of choice. You’ll perhaps begin to sense a greater sense of alignment between how you want to relate to food and how much, what, and when you eat.
This isn’t about external restrictions or someone telling you what you should or shouldn’t do. It’s about an inner shift—moving from emotional eating as a default to a place where you feel guided by a deeper sense of purpose and clarity.
And that’s where real shifts can happens. We start seeking the real “things” our soul is craving for: rest, connection, peace, clearer boundaries, or a just different balance—rather than reaching for food as a temporary fix.
To becoming more the “authors” of our lives, with our intentionality grounded in deeper awareness,
Claudia