No Willpower?
Further from the truth
Emotional eating, a common struggle for so many of us, often comes with the misconception that it's a matter of willpower—a battle lost before it even begins.
In my work with women wanting to transcend this behavior, I've witnessed firsthand how this narrative undermines the true nature of emotional eating and the power individuals have to transform their relationship with food and emotions.
Let's debunk the myth that emotional eating is mainly about willpower.
It's not a lack of strength or discipline but a complex interplay of emotions, habits, and coping mechanisms that may lead us, over time, to rely on food to self-regulate. Recognizing this is the first step towards liberation from the cycle of emotional eating.
Emotional eating isn't a character flaw; it's a coping strategy
Emotional eating is a way of seeking comfort, solace, or distraction from challenging emotions, although we are often unaware that this is the function that we want this behavior to have.
It's an attempt to fill emotional voids with food, often leading to guilt, shame, and a vicious cycle of overeating and regret.
As an emotional eating coach, I've heard the self-critical voices of individuals struggling with this behavior:
"You are weak,"
"You have no willpower,"
"You can't keep commitments"—
Although we may know that these labels only serve to reinforce negative self-perceptions and make the journey to overcoming emotional eating even more difficult, we can’t help it. We get very upset at ourselves for engaging in this behavior—yet again.
Let's delve into the science behind emotional eating and why willpower is further from the truth than you might think. A key player in this narrative is the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), part of our autonomic nervous system responsible for the "fight-or-flight" response.
When the SNS becomes overactive, whether due to acute stressors or chronic emotional arousal, it triggers a cascade of physiological responses. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, and the body prepares for action. This heightened state of arousal can feel overwhelming, leaving us searching for a way to downregulate this activation. To feel more peace. To feel more calm and more equanimity.
Would you like a mini-structured path for your work in this area?
Download my free workbook! In this workbook, you’ll have the opportunity to:
Become more aware of your triggers and their sources
Feel more clarity about your inner world in what respects to food
Be less on automatic pilot
Be more intentional in all what relates to decisions about food
Enter emotional eating—a coping mechanism that provides short-term relief by engaging our senses, prompting our bodies to release dopamine, and temporarily taking the edge off an overly aroused nervous system. It's not about lack of willpower; it's about seeking comfort and attempting to self-soothe in the face of emotional overwhelm.
Our attempts to restore a sense of balance
The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), our body's rest and digest counterpart, plays a crucial role in this equation. While the SNS revs us up, the PNS promotes relaxation, digestion, and conservation of energy. It's the calming force that helps us return to a state of equilibrium after stressors have passed.
Food, with its sensory appeal and the dopamine release it triggers, becomes an easy target to reach out to in an effort to modulate our overactive SNS. It's not a conscious decision to eat for emotional relief; it's a subconscious response to soothe an overstimulated nervous system.
An empowering narrative: less guilt & shame
Understanding this dynamic empowers us to shift away from self-blame and judgment. Emotional eating is an attempt at coping, not a sign of weakness. It's a signal that our nervous system is seeking balance in the midst of emotional turmoil.
By fostering awareness and developing alternative coping mechanisms, we can disrupt the cycle of emotional eating. Mindfulness practices, an accurate understanding of the forces at play (that often lie below our awareness), and self-compassion are powerful tools on this journey.
So, the next time you feel the urge to criticize yourself for emotional eating, remember—it's not about willpower and it is not a lack of self-discipline. It's about a nervous system striving for equilibrium in a world of heightened emotions. With understanding, guidance, and support, we can navigate this path and reclaim our relationship with food and emotions.
To finding ways of self-soothing that feel good the next day,
Claudia