How to go against the grain to leave emotional eating in the PAST
The amount of time we have struggled with emotional eating need not deter us from attempting to leave it behind.
If you are reading this blog it tells me that you fall somewhere on the continuum between being set that overcoming emotional eating is a must, and the other end of the spectrum, where there is doubt and little hope that a life without emotionally eating is a possibility.
Being curious about whether overcoming emotional eating is a true possibility is a great starting point. Regardless of where you stand, I am glad you are here. You’ll find out why as you read on.
Have you ever felt like something that you needed to do or wanted to do was looming in the horizon and the idea of tackling that task felt insurmountable? Even the idea of starting that task felt heavy and it sometimes went as far as to fill us with self-doubt. We may have questioned if we’ve got what it takes to actually do it. We had two parts in us, the part that wanted so badly to do “the thing” and the part of us that was scared of starting and “failing” once again..
Doing “the thing”
Think for a moment: how did you feel after you did the thing? (in any area of your life). And if it was a long-time endeavor, like studying for a big exam, or cleaning the whole house, how did you feel after you committed to yourself that you would do it and actually started it? If you are like me, you felt a huge relief, a weight taken off your shoulders, accompanied with anxiety going down as you took even the smallest of steps to begin whatever task you felt needed to be done or felt called to do.
You may even have heard the (now even somewhat cliche) phrase “Do the damn thing” or “I am doing the thing” (I know that adding the “damn” piece may make it feel too strong of a statement for some). But you get the point— it is the exhilaration of doing the thing that has been weighing in our minds (and sometimes hearts) for a while.
I have often wondered what “the thing” meant to the person in any context :) Needless to say, regardless the specific thing, it was something big and significant, something they really wanted to do, and often were scared of doing. The key word being *significant* here.
Let’s do the thing!
My heart tells me that getting your emotional eating under control is significant for you. It would mean so much to you to start on this path, or to continue committed to this journey. But sometimes we get tired, we feel aimless, we have a hard time maintaining the focus and motivation in the pursuit of our goal. Frustration may set in and life gets in the way, all of our other responsibilities take precedence, and we just need a bite to cope with it all. Sounds familiar?
If that has happened to you, there is no need to worry. This is another reason why I am here, if you allow me, to provide both the support and a structured path to “take the bull by its horns” in the realm of emotional eating.
Going against the grain
Have you ever felt like you want to do things but in your own way? Not necessarily following how others do it or how common sense would tell us to do or think about things? If you have a bit of this in you, I think the concept of going again the grain in relationship to your emotional eating will resonate.
The concept of going against the grain is an important one as applied to our emotional eating. When most of us think about the process of overcoming our emotional eating we think about deprivation. About losing something, about something being taken away from us. And I hear you. On first thought, it makes sense we feel this way. Yet this mindset is not a very empowering one and it eventually can make it more likely that we go back to old (perhaps current) patterns of using food to navigate life with little thought at the huge price we pay for it.
This is where going against the grain comes in handy. I have been very structured and linear my whole life, but I have to say that the concept of going against the grain secretly has captivated me for a while :) and in relationship to emotional eating it comes into great pragmatic use. If we don’t see the process of overcoming emotional eating as a path of deprivation, how else do we see it? After all, it will likely be needed that we change our patterns of eating..
An alternative view
This is an alternative view that I invite you to consider—ask yourself:
- How tired are you of regretting how much you ate?
- How done are you of feeling heavy, bloated, or sluggish due to the impact of your emotional eating?
- How exhausted are you of the various feelings, thoughts, images, and cravings about food you often experience?
- How many times have you felt you are not the one in charge any more, your taste buds are, with the corresponding hit to our self-esteem?
- How tired are you to give away your power, not to someone else, but to this insidious behavior, that paradoxically emerges as a way to help you in the first place?
Hang on. There is a point to all these questions— and that is the answer to what it means to go against the grain in what relates to your emotional eating.
A huge weight being lifted off your shoulders..
Just imagine the huge weight that would be lifted off your shoulders, the liberation, the freedom you would feel if your mind was not so often occupied with thoughts about food, eating, or regretting what you ate. Imagine the space it will clear up in you, the extra energy that you will have to channel in ways that you actually find fruitful.
So that is what going against the grain means for me— to reframe this path of overcoming emotional eating as one that will clear up space, that will allow you to have more energy at your disposal, and that will provide renewed hope. A clear path toward a sense of liberation and freedom. A clear path that would redirect you to yourself, a “self” that no longer needs to rely on food to attenuate the struggles of life.
Would this process also bring about bouts of wanting to eat? Perhaps frustration in the initial stages that we may regard as more of a problem than eating just to cope?
A resounding yes.
As with any time that we aim to change a well ingrained habit, it will likely take a change in mindset and in actions. That would require patience and an abundance of kindness towards ourselves. Leaving behind well ingrained habits will very likely bring about some discomfort, but here’s a question for you to chew on —pun intended—
What discomfort do you choose, if you could choose?
The insidious, constant discomfort of knowing you are not living up to your full potential because food is a constant interference that prevents you to do the things you want to do or to feel good about yourself? OR
The discomfort of the frustration at wanting to go back to your old ways, that were only partially successful at helping you cope with life? Short term relief for a lifetime of pain and hit to your self-esteem.
I can assure you that the potential for freedom and liberation for most people outweighs the initial frustration and discomfort that trying to change habits brings about, especially towards the beginning. Overcoming emotional eating is a mental game more than anything else. It is about building a resilient mindset, a super strong rationale, and a well-developed set of tools and strategies that will carry us through in moments of (emotional eating) despair.
Curious to know more?
Take the quiz to begin your journey!
It will help you identify your main emotional eating triggers as well as provide opportunities for insights, resources, and tips to come your way. This quiz will help you to continue deepening your understanding of your emotional eating, which is an essential part of this journey. See you there!
What is your #1 emotional eating trigger?
To knowing your braveness,
Claudia