Staying the course
& Developing an Empowering Vision:
A Path to Freedom from Emotional Eating
As an emotional eating coach, I am dedicated to helping women transcend emotional eating and discover other avenues to nourish our bodies, minds, and souls that do not involve overeating. Don’t get me wrong. I know we can all empathize, in the moment, with the urge to over-rely on food to cope with life's challenges. It is simply human. However, we know deep down the price we pay. A huge price. A price that eats us alive –pun intended. Embracing alternative paths toward restoring a sense of balance and a certain degree of peace within us brings a multitude of benefits: no more feeling stuffed, no more regrets about emotional eating, no more guilt, and no more hits to our self-esteem related to our relationship with food.
But I can almost hear you thinking, perhaps a version of, "That sounds really nice, if only I could."
You might also be thinking, "My past is proof that I am not cut out for this. Food has always been my comfort for as long as I can remember." This is a common and entirely normal reaction. It's important to understand that there are two key characteristics to these feelings.
1) Breaking Free from the Past
Firstly, there's the belief that our past experiences must predict our future. If food has been your go-to comfort since your teenage years, and you haven't been afforded the time/ space to resolve it, it's easy to feel powerless. Many women (though not all) who struggle with emotional eating feel that they have always been somewhat overweight or perpetually wanting to lose a few pounds. Even if they have managed to shed some of the weight, it often wasn't with lasting success.
So, it makes sense that right now it is hard to be hopeful about what the future may bring in terms of your ability to leave emotional eating behind. This mindset makes it hard to believe that this option is really open to us, that it is a true possibility. That we have the capacity to leave emotional eating in the past, regardless of how many years or decades emotional eating has had so much power over your life. Yet it is key that we believe it is absolutely possible for you to find a way out of this debilitating behavior.
What do I mean by “staying the course?” By this I mean, the course you've always wanted for yourself, one in which you can consciously decide how to nurture yourself, one in which you are the one in control, instead of by default turning to food to assuage pain, overwhelm, or chaos.
To start this journey, it's essential to develop an empowering vision of yourself that breaks free from “how I always had been.”
2) Crafting an Empowering Vision
Developing an empowering vision that fills us with hope is key and, to a great extent, an art. You need to create a vision of how you want to be or who you want to become to eventually materialize it into reality. While there are outliers who achieve remarkable things without believing they could, for most of us, holding a vision of what we want to create in our lives is key. Holding a vision that says: “It is possible for me”. I deserve. I have the right, just as anyone else to live a life in which I feel free and not governed by cravings, triggers, or impulses.
In our case, one powerful vision would be of a life where food no longer rules. A life without the constant uncertainty of "Will this be a good day or bad day regarding how much I eat?" It is likely about becoming a woman (or human) who is free from the chains that tie her to food. You can choose. You can indulge if you decide to. And you can push the plate away when there is still yummy food on it if you want to. The bottom line is, you are the author of your own life.
The Power of Choice and Self-Empowerment
This is the invitation I extend to you: stay the course. Do not give up on your dream of feeling liberated and free. Food is to be enjoyed, meant to be life-sustaining, and provide some level of pleasure even. It should not be something we love-hate, and sometimes fear. Although it makes sense to be cautious around food when we've been "burnt” (when countless times it has been associated with pain), what we are after is a feeling of confidence that food does have to be always this super-charged topic in our lives.
Emotional eating often arises from unmet emotional needs. Identifying these needs is crucial to developing a vision where food doesn't control you. Ask yourself, "What am I truly hungry for?" (which is the title of Deepak Chopra’s book on this topic). It might be love, acceptance, comfort, or stress relief. Once you identify these needs, you can find healthier ways to meet them.
Would you like a mini-structured path for your work in this area?
Download my free workbook! In this workbook, you’ll have the opportunity to:
Become more aware of your triggers and their sources
Feel more clarity about your inner world in what respects to food
Be less on automatic pilot
Be more intentional in all what relates to decisions about food
There is no substitute to the inner (mental/ emotional) work
It’d be easier to end this post with practical strategies that would make everything better. And even though strategies are valuable, I think there is not substitute to doing the inner mindset, mental, and emotional work. That is the foundation upon which later on strategies might be added as a second layer of a comprehensive approach. So, I’ll indulge and say that mindful eating (slowing down and savoring each bite), emotional awareness (really bringing attention to what we are feeling when urged to overeat), and cultivating self-compassion are all key aspects of our path out of emotional eating. Yet once again, I would rely on these and similar suggestions to build once we have worked at the core of this dynamic, engaging in questions that delve deeply on the role food has had for us since an early age, on the void that perhaps we feel at times in our own lives, and perhaps, on the longing for having something fill that void. If you feel you would not know where to start, these foundational work will be at the core of the 12-week program I am building.
Embracing the Journey: Really possible or wishful thinking?
Staying the course and developing an empowering vision is a journey. It's about creating a life where you are free from the grip of emotional eating, where food is a source of nourishment and joy, not a refuge we resort to as a means of coping. Remember, you have the power to decide how to nurture yourself. By breaking free from the past, crafting an empowering vision, and implementing practical strategies, you can achieve the liberation and freedom you desire. Again, I know this is easier said than done. But you know by now you would not have to do this alone as my 12-week program, Enough Already, would delve deeply in all the key areas that may be inadvertently supporting this behavior that you so much want to remove from your life.
My hope for you is that you can embracing this journey with hope, resilience, and self-compassion. You are capable of transcending emotional eating and creating a life that truly nourishes your body, mind, and soul. My wish for you: that you stay the course and believe in your ability to transform. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards of freedom and empowerment are worth every step.
A Breath of Fresh Air
My hope with this blog post is to offer you a breath of fresh air—conveying that this dream of your is absolutely possible.
I would like to end with a powerful quote from Winston Churchill:
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
This sums it all up. Is your struggle in your relationship with food something you can easily just leave to the side?
If the answer is "No," like it is for many of us, please know you are not alone. I am here to support you in your next (and, if needed, next, and next) attempts at taking back control and power over your own life.
To your indomitable will,
Claudia